Saturday, January 2, 2010

Twenty Ten or Two Thousand Ten?

Repubicans, Tea Baggers and people without a sense of humor should NOT read this . . . .

Two days in to the new year and we already have a national calamity on our hands: How do we refer to this new year? Is it "twenty ten" or "two thousand ten"?

The factions supporting either possibility are passionately debating the subject. My personal preference would be for "twenty ten". It saves having to type six whole extra letters (including spaces) and takes .0004 seconds less time to say. So the choice seems obvious to any rational thinking individual. Even the National Association for Good Grammar agrees. By all indications, this appears to be the hot button issue for twenty ten/two thousand ten/2010.

I can see that you are skeptical about this. You really don't believe that we have anything better to do than focus on what many believe to be an extremely crucial issue. I'll bet that you also probably don't believe in global warming and you're undoubtedly still convinced that one day we will find those weapons of mass destruction that the Iraqis had so skillfully hidden! I'm here to tell you that this topic has universal ramifications that could alter the course of human history. This most critical controversy and hotly contested subject has reached a boiling point. Still not convinced??? Look here:

Remember, if you've read it on the web, then it must be true.
I've read too that conservatives and the religious right believe that we should refer to this year in Roman numerals: MMX. The fundamentalists believe it is more god-like. The Republicans are touting it as a program which could help stem the tide of global warming (although they doubt that there really is such a thing) and put the economy back on its' feet . . . think of all of the energy, ink and the millions of dollars it would save by not having to type 2010! The windfall surplus of funds could then be put back in to areas that would help stimulate job growth in businesses like big oil, Wall Street banking and military contractors. Alas, this issue will undoubtedly end up in some Washington think tank where the intellectuals of our society will finally, once and for all, let us know what is the moral and ethical way to refer to 2010.

All of this is far too cerebral for me. Heck, I'm still wrestling with which end of the egg is the politically correct part that is supposed to be cracked open !